People are far from perfect, but so often preach in idealistic terms.  While there is certainly nothing wrong with striving for perfection, be wary of the messenger.  You will run into these virtue signalers, people who spout their ideals, usually to gain influence in a situation.  Often they talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.  It usually never sits right with your instincts because chances are these situations are deceptively riddled with BS.    Below are some of the reasons why these “saints” are full of BS.

Inconsistent and misrepresenting – Mentioned above, in all likelihood they talk and the talk but don’t walk the walk.  Spewing idealism in a conversation is easy, but actually performing it with consistency is another

Unresourceful – Idealism in most cases is the direct antagonist of pragmatism.  Often times, the juice isn’t worth the squeeze going from the most productive system, to the virtuosic ideal.

Ignorance – Their misbelief that idealism is the best way just might make them ignorant.

False Authority – Maybe their ideals aren’t actually ideals at all for you or other parties. Perhaps it is not their place to say what is good for others.

Indecent Emotional Manipulation – Often times the messenger will try to employ guilt to cater to their power, influence, or ego.

Indecent Regard for Others – Often times a condescending, critical, and judgmental tone is attached to their preaching.

We’ve all said it, we’ve all heard it.  At it’s worst it is done with malice, and even at it’s best, laziness.  There is always something better to say.  If you think someone is misguided, suggest what their priority should be.  If you’ve had enough of the conversation, find another way to excuse yourself.  If you want to make someone feel bad and stupid, don’t.

Be kinder.  Be more patient.  Be more effective.  Just two little words can violate all the commandments below.

False Authority – You are not the one to determine what is important to other people

Improper Assumption – Clearly somebody cares enough to talk about it.  Just because you don’t care do not assume no one else does

Indecent Regard for Others – It is belittling

Deflection – Often used as a gaslighting technique, especially when the other person is making ground on their point

Inconsistent – You cared enough to engage in the topic or cared enough to interject your BS

Unresourceful – As stated above, there is almost certainly a better way

“It’s not what you say it’s how you say it”.  As cliche as this phrase is, it’s certainty cannot be overstated.  Too often it is believed that as long what you say is correct then it cannot be BS.  However, if whatever you communicate is done aggressively, chances are the tone of your voice is more destructive to the well being of the world than their “misbelief.”  It doesn’t matter how much more “truthful” your view is than the opposition, yelling or exploding is a violation of several BS Commandments shown below.

It is an attack which is always BS – (Commandment X – Indecent Regard to Others)

Often times the relevance of whatever you’re cursing about is an exaggeration, and does not warrant shouting – (Commandment V – Misrepresentation)

It is rarely the best solution, definitely not long term, and hardly even short.   Not only is it ineffective, often times it is counter-productive and worsens the situation – (Commandment 4 – Unresourceful)

The fact you believe it is effective, makes you ignorant – (Commandment 2 – Ignorant)

Yelling and lashing out are common tools to perpetuate toxic environments and cave into personal demons.  If that is what your goal is, you’re definitely in the wrong place.

Studies have shown that in a debate the confident are more persuasive than the timid.  While this should be a surprise to no one, what is shocking that it still holds true even if the confident person is wrong and the timid person is right.  Seemingly, whoever believes their own BS usually wins the argument.  Too often this empowers ignorance, and even more unfortunately disempowers the righteous.

Empower yourself against this common power trick.  Certainty, in the form of conviction, is hardly certain at all – especially in these days of misinformation, polarization, and extreme views.  Absolutes, the ultimate form of conviction, or anything within the vicinity should be taken with a grain of salt.

Know your stuff and just know someone assuming false authority with confidence may just be a ploy.  Confidence is perhaps too powerful for its own good.  It is a double-edged sword and can be used for both good and evil

The concept of giving advice at face value seems like a helpful endeavor.  However more often than not, it’s often riddled with BS, which ultimately nullifies its effectiveness, even if the advice itself is solid.  Such is the nature of humans, that they must feel safe before adopting any changes.  This is doubly true for advice received, and any form of BS will mar the safety of that advice. Hate it all you want, but ignoring this facet of people will ultimately hinder your ability to guide and persuade others.   And if guiding others to better themselves is not your ultimate intention, then that’s an issue you should be sorting out for yourself (Hint: its probably ego related).

Effective advice is given from a place of kindness, compassion, and understanding.  However, too often it is tainted with some form of BS. 

Although the ways of BS advice are countless, the most common forms are the following:

Hypocritical Advice – People giving advice they aren’t willing to do themselves.  

Unproductive Advice – This can be in the form of cliches (i.e. “try harder”), to the non sensical, or just the flat out wrong

Unsolicited Advice – Perhaps one of the most common forms of inappropriate advice, this is advice that is not asked for (and usually not wanted.)  

Just those 3 examples alone violate the following commandments.

Commandment II – Ignorant
Commandment III – Inconsistent
Commandment IV- Unresourceful
Commandment VI – Indecent Assumption
Commandment VII – Misrepresenting
Commandment VIII – False Authority
Commandment X – Indecent Regard for Others

Be cautious and compassionate when giving advice.  It is often one of the most improperly used and over utilized tools.

The line between friendly banter and insult is razor thin.  Teasing and making fun of each other is so common place since our toddler years that it’s difficult to view it as BS.  The reality is that most of it was probably inappropriate yet from our youth we accepted it as such.  Anytime you try to bring someone down to any degree is an attack, and an attack is violation of commandment 10 – having indecent regard for others.  When someone says “you can’t take a joke,” or “you’re just sensitive,” it is a violation of commandment 5 – a misrepresentation of their true tone, commandment 7 – a deflection of their inappropriate action re-aimed to your alleged character flaw, which of course they don’t have the authority to make,a violation of commandment 8 – assuming false authority. And last but not least, it is another violation of commandment 10 on top of that from the original joke.

This is just one of hundreds of examples of how a single sentence can violate more rules of BS than there are words present.  Because most BS is such a medley of different combinations of BS it is often difficult to articulate just why it is so.

Does this mean you’re allowed to bite someone’s head off anytime they make an inappropriate joke and say one of these?  Unlikely, as that would qualify you as over-reacting and exaggerating, also a major form of BS (more on that for another time).   It does however give you the knowledge to disempower anyone that uses this common line.  They are generally using it to reassign blame to you.   Anyone who says one of these lines is probably the asshole.  

There may be times where it was intended as banter and was an attempt to add humor to the situation.  In this instance the person will not usually resort to these common lines of BS but should take accountability for their words and apologize.

A small sample of the types of BS you see in the world. Stay tuned as we break down the most common and most elusive.

Often we feel it without being able to describe it. This ubiquitous, yet surprisingly obscure concept we generalize as “BS,” can be categorized in an infinite number of ways. The ten commandments presented here is just a single iteration and are certainly not perfect. There is plenty of overlap, and redundancy particular in the second half. But perhaps that is appropriate as BS is often vague and comes in multiple flavors. Very rarely do they violate just a single rule, but rather multiple ones simultaneously, using these commandments as building blocks to create every manifestation of itself.

10th commandment – Thou shalt have indecent regard for others.

We come to the final commandment -the most obscure and nebulous of them all. Nebulous because it is built on an intuitive truth that is so commonly besmirched, that its validity is challenged by default. This truth – that we are all equal children in the eyes of a greater power, entitles us to equal shares in the light, glory, and goods of the world. Our possessions, most notably our mind and body, deserve respect and boundaries. Acts that have indecent regard for these, including self-centeredness, intrusiveness, and other boundary violating acts are almost certainly on an express train to being BS. Respecting each other as humans is at the core of our being. Generational BS since the beginning of mankind has convoluted this postulate of our existence. Be kind to each other. Anytime you are putting anyone down and not lifting them up, you are guilty of the 10th commandment.

9th commandment – Thou shalt indecently manipulate.

Guilt Tripping. Tugging at people’s heart strings. These are particularly vile when done with selfish interest. But even with the best intentions for the receiving party, manipulation is playing with fire. Honesty and being straight forward sets up the foundation for long term health despite often being more difficult in the short term. Having to “trick” someone into doing anything can be a sign of foundational problems.

8th commandment – Thou shalt assume false authority.

The lines cross even blurrier as we dive deeper into the commandments. One could argue commandment VIII is a derivative of commandment II (ignorance) or even commandment VII (misrepresentation). However it earns its own spot due to its omnipresence.

Citing incredulous sources, offering unsolicited advice, and the ever ubiquitous passing judgment finds its most comfortable home under this commandment. Be wary anytime you judge. In nearly all cases you are assuming authority and credibility you do not have. Remember this when someone utilizes false authority towards you to cut down their influence and power.

7th commandment – Thou shalt misrepresent. One of the most powerful, ubiquitous, and versatile commandments. Often this leverages the tiny truth of something and is transformed into a tool of ill intent. Because of its partial truthful nature, it can be extremely influential. Over-exaggeration is one of its simplest forms, but it can manifest in many more obscure and devious ways.