A high quality wine is only fully enjoyed by those with a developed palate. The tastes of the masses, particularly the novices, usually can’t appreciate the nuances. Instead they will often reach for something overly sweet, overly boozy, or even worse – overly accessible.

For those who are bold enough to allow themselves to develop true to their authentic nature, be patient. Like a fine bottle, you will get better with age, and reaching your prime will take time. With this ever-improving version of yourself, explore new environments, both socially and globally. Use all the positive energy around you to further ferment yourself into the best vintage you possibly can.

Don’t let the slew of cranberry vodka drinkers deter you. Dare to be a 1869 Château Lafite Rothschild. You will inspire those who deserve it.

It is not someone who breaks the speed limit and cuts people off just to save a few minutes off their commute.

It’s not someone who can parallel park with just a few maneuvers.

It’s someone that understands their surroundings and are able to communicate their intentions with actions that optimize speed, flow, and most importantly peace.  Understanding that the road needs to be shared and that there’s hardly a reason to kill someone’s flow just because your anxieties command you to squeeze every inch of lane you can.   And also, those who are driving too slow are also disruptive.  Being too fearful can equally be as destructive and dangerous as being a speed demon.  Drive with both courage and compassion.

Be a good driver… on the road, and in life.

Not all actions that look the same are the same.  

Generosity from a place of strength and kindness promotes inspiration and further generosity.

Generosity from a place of weakness, fear, or winning favor enables corruption and theft.

Be generous from your strongest possible position.

There is no magic hack in life. Everyone is in a different place even yourself at any given moment. What works for you may not work for others. What works in the past may not work in the present. Have compassion for others’ journey and be adaptable for the changes that will happen on yours.

A naughty and nice list I created for my clinic recently. Although this was curtailed specifically for a workplace environment, many of these translate to all aspects of life.

TLDR: Appreciate others and what you have. Be honest and kind. Speak well about others and yourself. This is how you build a world of happiness. Do the opposite, and that’s how you build of a world of toxicity.

In the game of Poker you can have a small amount of chips, known as the short stack, or have a lot of chips known as the high stack.  Optimal play between the two is entirely different.  One can think of it as surviving versus thriving.  Know in life which situation you are in.  

Too often times people come into success from tough upbringings and bring along with them elements of the past poor life.  Mistrust, selfishness, small potato thinking and a general scarcity mindset often wear out their welcome when they transition from a survivors situation to a thrivers situation.  Playing with a survivors mindset in a thriving situation leads to unnecessary anxiety, pain and limited growth.

However, playing with a thrivers mind set in a survivors situation will surely result in demise.  Life will throw a wrench at you from time to time and change you from thriving to surviving.  Identify this this properly, be flexible, and learn to switch gears.  Survive today, thrive the next.  At the end of the day, your stack will thank you.

We’ve mentioned relationships truly feed the soul and are the key to happiness – particularly romantic, friend, and family.  Some of these relationships are very much under our control while others are not, particular family.  

While it’s easy to wish all of these were good, many times we are dealt with hands we cannot change.  Take what you can, even if all you have seems unappetizing and miniscule.  Even stale crackers, despite its unappealing nature, still adds nutrition.  Beggars can’t be choosey.  However, there’s a dangerously blurry line between bad and toxic.  Learn to identify when something is toxic and dispose of it.  Better to be malnourished than poisoned.

The longest studies ever performed on happiness showed that the key is love. Love from your partner, family, and friends is truly the holy trinity of a fulfilled life. Though there is some overlap, one hardly replaces the other. Get your fill with all three of these bountifully.

Hopefully from your life plan you are well attuned what your long term goals are and how your actions/reactions should be in all situations.

Impulsivity, knee-jerk reactions, and mindless movement fuel so many of the actions seen in the world. Day to day life is littered with thoughtlessness. Minimize your unintentional actions and responses.

Be wary of your emotions. They will frequently override what you know you should be doing. The more times you can beat this the faster you will get to your goals

Curb your curiosity. In this age where notifications are being sent every second… every single disruption can prevent you from getting into your groove. Very few things in this world need your immediate attention, and you will find this to be only be more true as you improve your acting with intent. Identify those early on in your day. All other notifications should be minimized.

Remember even on your best day, you won’t be anywhere near perfect. Do not dwell or beat yourself up. Any time you waste today will just be a tiny drop compared to time wasted of the past. Always move forward.

Your life is built up entirely of your actions, thoughts, and emotions. You have much more control of all of these than you realize. Plan for them being realistic but daringly optimistic and always with the big picture in mind. Action by action, thought by thought like bricks building a fortress.

Act how you would want your children to see you, and how you would want them to be as adults.

Treat people the way you would want to be treated.

Think of actions from others that you dislike. Don’t do them.

Think of actions that you regret doing. Stop doing them.

Think of actions that you never regret doing. Do it more often.

Think of situations you have trouble dealing with. Work on a better way.

Identify which relationships are dragging you down. Re-invent them or remove them. No matter how important they were in your past, nothing is allowed in your future without your permission.

Identify your pet peeves and other triggers. Nearly all bad actions in the world stem from these childhood traumas. Label them as small potatoes and never confuse them for the big stuff. Overcome them and accept them as imperfections in your story. Minimize the attention you give them, eliminate them if possible.

Be like your role model. Don’t have one? Then create one. Pick the most admirable qualities from anyone in history, even yourself at your best moments. Combine this with all of the above to create your future avatar. Engineer all your actions, thoughts, and emotions using this avatar as your compass.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of unapplied self-care. Feeling good and inspired is all and well, but life’s rewards and challenges don’t come when you’re sitting comfortably reading a book. Walk the walk, not talk the talk. Use the tools you acquire to plan your goals for the strongest version of you. Your version of yourself… not the version your parents, culture, or social environment projected on you. Plan for happiness, plan for abundant energy, plan for fulfillment, and even plan for imperfection at times. Build your future with the perspective of an elevated but realistic lens.

Make sure all of your actions are geared towards this new life and minimize all thoughtless, unproductive, and knee-jerk motions.

Last but not least, feel as good as possible at all times. Life is a roller coaster and will berate you with both the good and the bad. Allow the highs to be as high as possible, but force the lows to also be as high as possible. Joy and happiness are infinite and are not in a zero-sum game with sorrow and pain. Battle for your dream life and feel amazing about it.

A beautiful relationship is not two trophies sitting on a pedestal.

It is two dynamic instruments, improvising, and playing mesmerizing music through the ups and downs of life.